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intricacies of failure

from gloom archive by eaten by trees

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I remember when you called constantly to talk about your ex-lover who you thought never loved you.
And I was there, but too far away to explain the intricacies of failure and how it’s not worth hurting for.
So you decided to see how long you could sleep with the help of too many pills while I drove you to the emergency room.
It turns out you could sleep forever, but you failed and we are all grateful for it.
You longed to keep the hurting with you, and I couldn’t make sense of it all, reading psychology books to tap into your brain.
And I became insane with overanalyzation and sleep deprivation after we kissed on the bathroom floor. I didn’t know what it meant.
I know you used me, and maybe I used you, using each other to make ourselves feel better about being crazy.
We both failed at keeping secrets and slept with our eyes tightly shut so we couldn’t see each other’s pain.
I’m not there anymore, too far away to even remember your face because I never failed to keep my eyes shut after those days.

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from gloom archive, released October 18, 2012

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